Archive for the ‘style’ Category

Reverse Psychology

Monday, July 12th, 2010

I occasionally teach creative writing; last week’s class involved an exercise where we took the “World’s Worst Poem” (according to Google) and fixed it.  One of the people noted that she was able to see many faux pas in the author’s style of which she, herself, was guilty.  We all had a look at the poem and, regretfully, each one of us could find at least one problem which was evident in our own writing.

This made me think: have you ever checked out some really bad academic writing?  If you do a quick search for “world’s worst essay”, you’ll get some prime examples.  (Caveat: the first link Google comes up with is an essay which has an extraordinary amount of inappropriate language, so don’t click on it if that sort of thing bothers you… no, I’m not giving you the link to it. )

This essay comes up in several places on the internet.  It looks like it was written by a 7-year-old who drank too much Red Bull.  It’s a good essay to read if you’re at all inclined to rambling, though; you’ll never want to ramble again.

Here is a college admission essay which is the epitome of pretentiousness and inappropriate vocabulary.  You’ll have to scroll down and click on “read more of this essay”.

It would be a good exercise to print out these two paragraphs and mark them up with a big red pen, as they break just about every rule of academic writing.

Have a look at some of these.  You may find some things which strike you as disturbingly familiar.

Comma Enigma

Monday, June 21st, 2010

If you want to get some linguists all tied up in a knot, just say the word “comma”.  If you want a really big brouhaha, make sure half of those linguists are American and the other half British.

Good times all around.

Nadine Gordimer, a Nobel Prize-winning author, wrote this beautiful sentences in a short story called Loot (2003):

He has a lot of - things - some of which his eye falls upon often, so he must be fond of, some of which he doesn’t notice, deliberately, that he probably shouldn’t have acquired but cannot cast off, there’s an art nouveau lamp he reads by, and above his bed-head a Japanese print, a Hokusai, ‘The Great Wave’, he doesn’t really collect oriental stuff, although if it had been on the wall facing him it might have been more than part of the furnishings, it’s been out of sight behind his head for years.

Marvelous sentence.  Drives any writer to their knees in awe.  Drives the average linguist around the bend.

If you wrote such a sentence in a formal essay, you’d fail; creative writing demands the re-reading of sentences for pleasure, and formal writing demands clear, straight-forward communication.

Comma usage is - and probably always will be - up for debate.  The Americans have a fairly mathematical approach to commas (they’re notorious for serial commas and FANBOYS, and putting commas inside the quotes) while the British are more logical about it: commas go outside the quotes, and are used where necessary to make things easy for the reader.  Even within a particular English usage, people will argue whether or not a comma is appropriate.

The bottom line is, you’ll never find the “right” answer, just a handful of logical ones.  The OWL at Purdue has a really good PowerPoint slide on commas which you can download from here.  You can also look at their Comma Quick Rules page.

If you’re writing for a particular employer or professor, read some of their writing and see how they use commas (serial commas?  is “as” included in the list of FANBOYS?  do they like Nadine Gordimer’s writing?)  If you can’t get your hands on some of their writing, ask them specifically about their comma preferences; this way, you won’t fail.

Commas may drive you batty, but they’re also very interesting.  Here’s a lovely little video which covers the basics - with a smile!  There’s a website which gives a short history of punctuation, including commas.  For those of you who spend your summer on Facebook, there’s a page in favour of the Oxford comma.

Like the mud-puddles you examined as a child, commas are intriguing once you get knee-deep in them.

To Footnote or Not to Footnote…

Monday, June 14th, 2010

…that is the question.

There is no one answer.

Footnotes are those little blurbs at the bottom of the page, usually marked with superscript numbers (but sometimes with asterisks and other cool shapes).  If you randomly take any three academic books from the library shelf, you’ll find each one of them uses footnotes differently.  Some authors uses them solely for citing quotations, some use them to explain archaic words or ideas, and some use them to write a second book within the first.

I think citation is the only use of footnotes which is universally agreed upon.  Some people may want you to write the citations in parentheses or as endnotes, but the final result is the same thing.  Either way, the little foray to the bottom of the page or the back of the book isn’t going to throw your reader off that much; they can look at them after they’ve finished reading, too.

If you look at a Shakespeare play, you’ll see that half the page is footnotes.  This is necessary for modern readers as we don’t teach Elizabethan English classes before we make you read Romeo and Juliet.  If you’re ever going to understand what the heck Mercutio is going on about, you’ll need explanations in modern English.  We also don’t teach classical literature very much, anymore, so you’ll need the Greek and Roman allusions explained, too.  Footnotes are good for these explanations because you’d lose your train of thought entirely if we put all the explanations in parentheses, or if you had to flip to the back of the book.  Short footnotes can also be used to show additional sources of information or alternative translations of words.

Unless the goal is to teach you to write without footnotes, most people don’t object to short explanations decorating the bottom of the page.

Now, writing another book on the bottom half of the page… this drives readers right off the deep end.  When I see this in a book, I generally put the book back down and walk away.  When I see it in an essay, I hand it right back to the student.  It’s a sign of inept writing.

If you have a clear thesis and understand the points you’ll be using to support said thesis, there should be no need for extensive footnotes.  If every point you make has an additional interpretation or opinion, then you should work that into your essay.  If every paragraph has a classical allusion or an archaic word, you need to work these into your essay, too.  If the information absolutely cannot be written into the main part of the essay and is not desperately important to the understanding of the thesis, consider using an appendix instead of footnotes; this will be less distracting to the reader.

The term itself should identify the footnote’s position: if it’s taking up anything more than the foot of the page, it’s no longer a footnote.  (If in doubt, draw a person on the page; you have up to the ankle to write footnotes.)

Here’s the OWL at Purdue’s page on footnotes, etc.

If you must follow a specific format, MLA and APA formats both discourage the use of footnotes; Chicago recommends them for citation.   Make sure you know what’s expected from each format.

Passive Ain’t Bad

Monday, June 7th, 2010

As an English tutor, I spend a great deal of time with people who don’t like English; the irony of this is not lost on me, so don’t worry about it.  :)  What I learn from my students is, mostly, perspective.

When you can’t get the right verb tense, that’s a major problem.  When you can’t keep i-before-e-except-after-c-and-several-other-seemingly-random-circumstances straight, that’s a minor problem.  When you use the passive voice, that’s not a problem.

They’re right.  It’s a new-ish “rule” in the schools: using the passive voice in a formal essay will lose you marks.

For those of you who are furrowing your brows, the passive voice is where the subject of the sentence has something done to it, rather than doing something.  For example:

  • The cake was made by me.  (passive)
  • I made the cake.  (active)

It seems simple, yes?  The active voice would be used when someone feels strongly about something, when the speaker would be loud and excited.  We tend to use the active voice for things like Teenagers break rules! or Penicillin saves lives! Now, people who are less-than-enthusiastic about teenagers or penicillin might say Rules are broken by teenagers, or Lives are saved by penicillin; neither voice will encourage nor discourage teenagers from breaking rules, or penicillin from saving lives.  It’s just a matter of how the author feels about that subject.

Children learn to use the passive and active voices naturally.  Listen to the next three-year-old that comes by, and you’ll hear an entirely active voice (”No, I don’t want that!”).  Listen to a 6-year-old trying to blame something on her little brother, and you’ll hear a lot of the passive voice (”The window got broken.  I think he was playing with a baseball.”)

You’ll find you naturally use the active and passive voices, too.  If you’re really interested in your subject - passionate about it, even - you’ll write in the active voice.  You’re determined to convince your reader to think the way you do, and so you slip into persuasive mode.

I think what the anti-passive rule is trying to do is to make the writer appear animated.  They’re docking marks from people who aren’t thrilled about their subject.  In this case, I can see their point.

What?

Yep.  If you’re gonna do something, you should do it well.  Admittedly, if you asked me to write about something scientific or mathematical, I’d have a hard time mustering the enthusiasm… but I’d try.  I wouldn’t write a paper about a new medical technique that might, possibly, one day, save a life or two; I’d write about a new medical technique that would save a life.  If you asked me to write a paper comparing Austen and the Bronte sisters, the Austen section would be written entirely in the passive voice, and the Brontes would be in the active (’cause the Brontes are awesome!)

So, no, passive voice isn’t bad.  In fact, it’s great.  When one is trying to explain something gently, softly, the passive voice is invaluable.  The trick lies in knowing when your reader needs to be lulled, and when the active voice needs to whack them into action.

Gained in Translation

Monday, May 17th, 2010

So much of writing is very difficult to teach; there’s no formula, no one way to do things.  Language, after all, is dependent on both the speaker and the listener, and they may interpret a word a different way.

Found this page on smartwords.org.  If you scroll down, you’ll find the third section is entitled A Translation of Common Scientific Research Phrases.  (When two people are speaking the same language, translation is a bad thing.)  Weak writing frequently involves unnecessary words, or words that put the responsibility on someone other than the writer.  It makes the reader immediately suspicious, making it that much more difficult for the writer to convince the reader of a certain point of view.

These are labeled “research phrases” but they’re not found solely in scientific writing.  Here, thieved from the website, are some phrases I see students using in English papers:

Phrase Translation

It has long been known…           I didn’t look up the original reference.

In my experience…                    Once.

A definite trend is evident…     These data are practically meaningless.

Vagaries such as a long time ago are also subject to translation; a five-year-old believes yesterday to be “a long time ago” whereas those of us in middle age don’t think the late ’70s are all that distant.

We poke fun of advertising which attempts to use language to distract us from the truth (e.g a fast-food restaurant that claims to use only Grade A beef but says nothing about the grade of rat meat which gets mixed in with the beef).  Political leaders who dance around an issue, or try to avoid taking responsibility, are videotaped and put up on YouTube for the whole world to see.  You can imagine what a reader might think of phrases like careful analysis of obtainable data or it is believed that….

Have a look at the website, watch a couple of ads on television, and then listen to the evening news.  After that, make yourself a cup of tea and have a good long look at your writing.

Do you believe what you’ve written?

Wordiness: a danger

Monday, May 3rd, 2010

I think the business world is doing terrible things to communication; it is encouraging formulaic phrases over word choice, jargon over commonly-understood terms, “professionalism” over knowledge.   It encourages verbing.

We all know how academia feels about verbing.

I found this nice little site about wordiness.  For those of you who have been taking business communication courses - and learning the formulaic professional phrasing - this website will help with some of the scrubbing and purging required.

I don’t know that I’d go quite so far as to use the term danger signals; wordiness will only muddle the process of communication, not arrest it completely (such as the misuse of punctuation might).  It’s a matter of perspective, I suppose.  If your reader is reading your paper in the early evening, having sufficiently refreshed himself after a day’s work, then perhaps there won’t be any confusion.  If your paper ends up being at the bottom of the pile, already tainted by the reader’s lack of sleep and wailing infant, perhaps it might warrant danger signals.

You decide.  Have a look at the website and see if you’re inclined towards any of these faux pas.

Writing Argumentative Essays

Monday, March 22nd, 2010

Writing Argumentative Essays

This is a really cool little website from Australia.  It focuses solely on how to write argumentative essays; it won’t help you much if you’re writing an opinion piece.

However, the thinking process is one which could be applied to any number of situations….

The website covers every step of the essay-writing process from planning the argument to word choice.  It gives outlines for paragraph structure (introduction, several choices for the body, conclusion), and a couple of models to choose from.  There is even a section about converting informal text to formal text.

I recommend this website for anyone who is learning English as another language, as well as for anyone who has to write argumentative essays.

Adios, Strunk and White

Monday, March 15th, 2010

Adios, Strunk and White, by Gary and Glynis Hoffman

There are three chapters in this marvellous book: Style, Form, and Critical Thought and Research. After the first column of the Table of Contents, it gets interesting. The sub-chapters for Style are Flow, Pause, Fusion, Opt and Scrub. Form contains Time Warping, Encircling, Layering and Bursting. Critical Thought and Research involves Peel, Filter and Press.

I suppose if the titles don’t amuse you, you’re not likely to be interested in the rest of the book. This book is about writing well, and it doesn’t deal with the basics. These are the things you might consider after you’ve finished writing your paper, when you’re ready to polish it into something beautiful and gleaming.

My favourite sub-chapter is Scrub. Within Scrub, you can choose Facial Pack, Metal Mask or War Paint. Scrub is about purging your writing of euphemism, offensive language, and weak or indirect writing; you can choose your preferred level of attack. (There are papers when a Facial Pack will be sufficient, but other occasions warrant full-on War Paint. Being of obsessive personality, I do like the idea of War Paint.)

Are you ready to give up on formulaic writing, ready to branch out into brilliant thought and communication? This book is likely to be on every library shelf, waiting for you to pick it up. You might even find it in a second-hand store. Personally, I believe it’s worth every penny, even if you have to buy it new.

Awesome Vocabulary

Monday, March 1st, 2010

When my children were small, I didn’t think I’d ever use a multi-syllabic word again.  All those years of education were a complete waste of time, effort and money, I thought.  When my infant son was given a toy tiger, I named it “Robespierre” because I figured it would be the only time I’d ever get to say such a big word, much less contemplate French politics.

I was visiting with my parents this past weekend, and my father and I were talking about writing.  He said he used to look forward to writing reports for lawyers and judges - rather than for his co-workers - because he was not limited to readers with a Grade 8 comprehension level.  I concur: while I absolutely enjoy all of my students, reading the work of certain students is always more pleasurable than reading the work of others.  It has something to do with subject matter, of course, and sentence structure, but mainly I like their vocabulary.  Not the vocabulary to required to discuss their particular topic, but the vocabulary which is used to explain it all to me.  I like to be kept thinking.

As a student who is making an effort to improve their writing (I know you are or you wouldn’t be reading this), it behooves you to constantly increase your vocabulary.  You will never know every word there is in the English language.  At some point, it may be a word like apologia or progenitor (used properly, of course) which makes or breaks your reader’s opinion of your writing.

So, how does one go about increasing one’s vocabulary?  A dictionary, obviously; choose one scintillating word per week and incorporate it into your writing whenever possible.  A thesaurus is also a good thing; stop using nice and use genial instead.  You can also waste hour after hour on addictive games like Free Rice.  SAT preparation quizzes like this or this are also good.

This doesn’t mean you have to start sounding like a walking reference book.  The point would be to have a wide vocabulary at your disposal so that you are able to communicate with your reader at their level, whatever that level may be.

Have fun on Free Rice. :)

Transitional Words and Phrases

Monday, February 22nd, 2010

For those of you who are not enthralled by the nuances of the English language, linking sentences must be a real drag.  Actually, I know you find it a real drag because I’ve been told so time after time.  Your teachers/professors must also know it because they hand you photocopied lists of transitional words.

Transitional words are good.  So are transitional phrases.  But each word and phrase has it’s particular use, and should not be thrown in haphazardly.

For those who are drawing a blank, here’s a reasonable list of transitional words and phrases for connecting sentences and paragraphs.  Try to learn when and where to use each word properly.

For those who have a basic grasp of the concept, the OWL at Purdue has some excellent suggestions for transition methods and devices.

There are some transitions which don’t belong in formal essays:

  • references to the essay or the paragraph (e.g.  “In this essay…” or “This paragraph will explain…”)
  • personal references (e.g. “I’m going to tell you about…”)
  • creative adverbs such as “firstly”, “secondly” and “thirdly”

There are also some transitions which are just… common (and I use the word in the derogatory sense).  For instance, next is boring; try to use something more exciting.

Most of the time, I read literary essays.  One thing that bothers me is the use of first, second and third, etc., in writing which has nothing to do with numbers or sequences.  If one is discussing the steps of a process then - by all means - use first, second and third.  However, if the subjects being discussed do not need to be in any particular order, there is no need to number them; words such as next, following this, and at the same time would be appropriate.

If you do a simple search for “transition words”, you’ll find numerous sites which offer ample suggestion.  Just remember that transitional words are as important as every other word in your writing, and should be treated with the same reverence.

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