The Esteemed Semi-Colon

July 19th, 2010

As most of my teaching time is spent tutoring, I am generally not concerned with unnecessary details: if the writing is clear and well-formatted, I’m happy.

I’ve changed my mind about what is “unnecessary”.

Formerly, I didn’t require the use of semi-colons.  Periods and commas were acceptable, and I figured there was no sense in boggling an already-boggled mind.  Last week, though, I met a 13-year-old who can use a semi-colon perfectly.

If he can do it, all of you can.

I have a thing about semi-colons.  They’re attractive (how can a dot and a squiggle be attractive?  It’s an English Major thing…), they give long sentences a wonderful flow, and they’re different.  Not many people use semi-colons anymore; if you want to stand out, learn to use a semi-colon properly.

The most common place to use a semi-colon is between two independent clauses which are closely related.  Generally, a semi-colon is used before the conjunction however.

e.g.  I love chocolate; however, I don’t consider white chocolate to be chocolate.

You can also use a semi-colon in a long list where commas are already used.

e.g.  There were many famous people at the party: Mr. X, a painter; Mrs. Z, a renowned neurologist and opera singer; and Ms. N, a politician.

Here’s a website which gives more explanations, and here is a quiz to take once you think you know what you’re doing.

Reverse Psychology

July 12th, 2010

I occasionally teach creative writing; last week’s class involved an exercise where we took the “World’s Worst Poem” (according to Google) and fixed it.  One of the people noted that she was able to see many faux pas in the author’s style of which she, herself, was guilty.  We all had a look at the poem and, regretfully, each one of us could find at least one problem which was evident in our own writing.

This made me think: have you ever checked out some really bad academic writing?  If you do a quick search for “world’s worst essay”, you’ll get some prime examples.  (Caveat: the first link Google comes up with is an essay which has an extraordinary amount of inappropriate language, so don’t click on it if that sort of thing bothers you… no, I’m not giving you the link to it. )

This essay comes up in several places on the internet.  It looks like it was written by a 7-year-old who drank too much Red Bull.  It’s a good essay to read if you’re at all inclined to rambling, though; you’ll never want to ramble again.

Here is a college admission essay which is the epitome of pretentiousness and inappropriate vocabulary.  You’ll have to scroll down and click on “read more of this essay”.

It would be a good exercise to print out these two paragraphs and mark them up with a big red pen, as they break just about every rule of academic writing.

Have a look at some of these.  You may find some things which strike you as disturbingly familiar.

Canadian Content

July 5th, 2010

0176103627

Canadian Content (6th Edition), by Sarah Norton and Nell Waldman

I know, I know, not all of you are Canadian.  That’s alright; this isn’t a book about grammar rules, so you won’t get confused.

I’ve had this book for many years (I have the 4th edition, actually), and use it several times per week.  It’s a book full of examples of essays, e.g. persuasive essays, comparison essays, cause-and-effect essays.  Each chapter begins with an explanation of the type of essay, goes on to an annotated essay (”here’s the introduction”, “here’s the thesis”, “here’s the first supporting point”, “here are some good transition words”, etc), and ends with several really good sample essays of that particular genre.  Each of the sample essays comes with a glossary, some reading questions (structure and strategy, and content and purpose), and some suggestions for writing.

This would, obviously, be a good book to have hanging around a writing or tutoring centre, but my students also find it useful to read when they need an example.   What does the professor mean when he requests a Classification and Division essay?  Have a look at the book and you’ll get some ideas.

Now, those of you who live in warmer climes may not get much out of Paul Quarrington’s essay Home Ice - which can be found in the Process Analysis: Explaining “How” section - if you don’t have a lot of experience with backyard skating rinks; however, essays like George Carlin’s Baseball and Football (Comparison and Contrast: Explaining Similarities and Differences) and Stephen King’s Why We Crave Horror Movies (Cause and Effect: Explaining “Why”) will have general appeal.  Neil Bissoondath’s I’m Not Racist But… (Definition: Explaining “What”) will be - regretfully - relevant to everyone.

You should be able to find a copy in your library; if not, I easily found cheap second-hand copies online.

Abbreviations and Acronyms

June 29th, 2010

I assume you understand, by now, that the use of contractions in formal writing is frowned upon. There’s no particular reason for this, other than contractions are a sign of laziness.

Abbreviations should also be avoided specifically for this reason. Is it really so difficult to write “Professor” rather than “Prof.”? When writing was a matter of cutting your own quills and stirring up the ink, or of saving inordinately expensive paper, there may have been an argument in favour of abbreviations; now, with computers and cheap recycled paper, I don’t think the argument would hold any water.

That said, there are a few situations where you’re allowed to be lazy:

* Credentials after names (e.g. M.D., B.A.), because they’re often short forms of Latin words which might take you several sentences to complete
* For the same reason, common abbreviations or acronyms which have been written out in full the first time they’re used in the paper (could you imagine writing deoxyribonucleic acid – DNA – a thousand times in a book?)
* Dates (e.g. 1066 A.D.)

If you are quoting something which uses abbreviations or acronyms, you must write it the way the original author wrote it; if the reference is vague, you might want to put in an editor’s note explaining the abbreviation in full.

Here are a couple of websites to get you thinking about such things:

Capital Community College

Monash University

If you’re following a particular format, they each have their own rules. Here are the OWL at Purdue’s pages for APA and MLA.

When in doubt, just write the words out in full; no one will criticise you for that.

Comma Enigma

June 21st, 2010

If you want to get some linguists all tied up in a knot, just say the word “comma”.  If you want a really big brouhaha, make sure half of those linguists are American and the other half British.

Good times all around.

Nadine Gordimer, a Nobel Prize-winning author, wrote this beautiful sentences in a short story called Loot (2003):

He has a lot of - things - some of which his eye falls upon often, so he must be fond of, some of which he doesn’t notice, deliberately, that he probably shouldn’t have acquired but cannot cast off, there’s an art nouveau lamp he reads by, and above his bed-head a Japanese print, a Hokusai, ‘The Great Wave’, he doesn’t really collect oriental stuff, although if it had been on the wall facing him it might have been more than part of the furnishings, it’s been out of sight behind his head for years.

Marvelous sentence.  Drives any writer to their knees in awe.  Drives the average linguist around the bend.

If you wrote such a sentence in a formal essay, you’d fail; creative writing demands the re-reading of sentences for pleasure, and formal writing demands clear, straight-forward communication.

Comma usage is - and probably always will be - up for debate.  The Americans have a fairly mathematical approach to commas (they’re notorious for serial commas and FANBOYS, and putting commas inside the quotes) while the British are more logical about it: commas go outside the quotes, and are used where necessary to make things easy for the reader.  Even within a particular English usage, people will argue whether or not a comma is appropriate.

The bottom line is, you’ll never find the “right” answer, just a handful of logical ones.  The OWL at Purdue has a really good PowerPoint slide on commas which you can download from here.  You can also look at their Comma Quick Rules page.

If you’re writing for a particular employer or professor, read some of their writing and see how they use commas (serial commas?  is “as” included in the list of FANBOYS?  do they like Nadine Gordimer’s writing?)  If you can’t get your hands on some of their writing, ask them specifically about their comma preferences; this way, you won’t fail.

Commas may drive you batty, but they’re also very interesting.  Here’s a lovely little video which covers the basics - with a smile!  There’s a website which gives a short history of punctuation, including commas.  For those of you who spend your summer on Facebook, there’s a page in favour of the Oxford comma.

Like the mud-puddles you examined as a child, commas are intriguing once you get knee-deep in them.

To Footnote or Not to Footnote…

June 14th, 2010

…that is the question.

There is no one answer.

Footnotes are those little blurbs at the bottom of the page, usually marked with superscript numbers (but sometimes with asterisks and other cool shapes).  If you randomly take any three academic books from the library shelf, you’ll find each one of them uses footnotes differently.  Some authors uses them solely for citing quotations, some use them to explain archaic words or ideas, and some use them to write a second book within the first.

I think citation is the only use of footnotes which is universally agreed upon.  Some people may want you to write the citations in parentheses or as endnotes, but the final result is the same thing.  Either way, the little foray to the bottom of the page or the back of the book isn’t going to throw your reader off that much; they can look at them after they’ve finished reading, too.

If you look at a Shakespeare play, you’ll see that half the page is footnotes.  This is necessary for modern readers as we don’t teach Elizabethan English classes before we make you read Romeo and Juliet.  If you’re ever going to understand what the heck Mercutio is going on about, you’ll need explanations in modern English.  We also don’t teach classical literature very much, anymore, so you’ll need the Greek and Roman allusions explained, too.  Footnotes are good for these explanations because you’d lose your train of thought entirely if we put all the explanations in parentheses, or if you had to flip to the back of the book.  Short footnotes can also be used to show additional sources of information or alternative translations of words.

Unless the goal is to teach you to write without footnotes, most people don’t object to short explanations decorating the bottom of the page.

Now, writing another book on the bottom half of the page… this drives readers right off the deep end.  When I see this in a book, I generally put the book back down and walk away.  When I see it in an essay, I hand it right back to the student.  It’s a sign of inept writing.

If you have a clear thesis and understand the points you’ll be using to support said thesis, there should be no need for extensive footnotes.  If every point you make has an additional interpretation or opinion, then you should work that into your essay.  If every paragraph has a classical allusion or an archaic word, you need to work these into your essay, too.  If the information absolutely cannot be written into the main part of the essay and is not desperately important to the understanding of the thesis, consider using an appendix instead of footnotes; this will be less distracting to the reader.

The term itself should identify the footnote’s position: if it’s taking up anything more than the foot of the page, it’s no longer a footnote.  (If in doubt, draw a person on the page; you have up to the ankle to write footnotes.)

Here’s the OWL at Purdue’s page on footnotes, etc.

If you must follow a specific format, MLA and APA formats both discourage the use of footnotes; Chicago recommends them for citation.   Make sure you know what’s expected from each format.

Passive Ain’t Bad

June 7th, 2010

As an English tutor, I spend a great deal of time with people who don’t like English; the irony of this is not lost on me, so don’t worry about it.  :)  What I learn from my students is, mostly, perspective.

When you can’t get the right verb tense, that’s a major problem.  When you can’t keep i-before-e-except-after-c-and-several-other-seemingly-random-circumstances straight, that’s a minor problem.  When you use the passive voice, that’s not a problem.

They’re right.  It’s a new-ish “rule” in the schools: using the passive voice in a formal essay will lose you marks.

For those of you who are furrowing your brows, the passive voice is where the subject of the sentence has something done to it, rather than doing something.  For example:

  • The cake was made by me.  (passive)
  • I made the cake.  (active)

It seems simple, yes?  The active voice would be used when someone feels strongly about something, when the speaker would be loud and excited.  We tend to use the active voice for things like Teenagers break rules! or Penicillin saves lives! Now, people who are less-than-enthusiastic about teenagers or penicillin might say Rules are broken by teenagers, or Lives are saved by penicillin; neither voice will encourage nor discourage teenagers from breaking rules, or penicillin from saving lives.  It’s just a matter of how the author feels about that subject.

Children learn to use the passive and active voices naturally.  Listen to the next three-year-old that comes by, and you’ll hear an entirely active voice (”No, I don’t want that!”).  Listen to a 6-year-old trying to blame something on her little brother, and you’ll hear a lot of the passive voice (”The window got broken.  I think he was playing with a baseball.”)

You’ll find you naturally use the active and passive voices, too.  If you’re really interested in your subject - passionate about it, even - you’ll write in the active voice.  You’re determined to convince your reader to think the way you do, and so you slip into persuasive mode.

I think what the anti-passive rule is trying to do is to make the writer appear animated.  They’re docking marks from people who aren’t thrilled about their subject.  In this case, I can see their point.

What?

Yep.  If you’re gonna do something, you should do it well.  Admittedly, if you asked me to write about something scientific or mathematical, I’d have a hard time mustering the enthusiasm… but I’d try.  I wouldn’t write a paper about a new medical technique that might, possibly, one day, save a life or two; I’d write about a new medical technique that would save a life.  If you asked me to write a paper comparing Austen and the Bronte sisters, the Austen section would be written entirely in the passive voice, and the Brontes would be in the active (’cause the Brontes are awesome!)

So, no, passive voice isn’t bad.  In fact, it’s great.  When one is trying to explain something gently, softly, the passive voice is invaluable.  The trick lies in knowing when your reader needs to be lulled, and when the active voice needs to whack them into action.

Waylink English

May 31st, 2010

Waylink English is a nice little British site; I think I’ve linked to it before (if not, I should have).  It’s nothing special - no blinky lights or guarantees of A++ if you read their articles - but it’s good for people who need a refresher course on formal writing.  Browse through the links on the left-hand side of the page and see if there’s anything that might help you.

If it all looks familiar, I suggest you then have a look at this page for practicing formal writing.  There are two exercises: a  paragraph in which the verbs are informal, and twelve sentences in which you will find twelve “formal writing no-nos”.  It’s nothing heavy, just something to keep the brain in writing mode during the summer months.

Doin’ It Wrong; U R Doin’ It Right

May 24th, 2010

Artists - just like athletes - have to do exercises.  I’m not talking about stretching out the muscles in your hands; I’m talking about stretching out your brain.

No, it’s not that gross.

Visual artists have to draw things from different perspectives.  Musicians have to play scales.  Actors have to assume characters they would never really want to play.  And writers have to write things they don’t mean to write.

There are the traditional exercises: describe something, write down directions, find words that rhyme with orange (just kidding).  These are good things to do if you’re working on creativity or clarity.

My students never come to me because they’re having problems with creativity.  They come to me because they have problems with the basics of writing something for school or work.  I spend several hours assessing them, identifying the actual problem.  Then I spend several hours making them practice that problem.

No, not fix the problem.  Practice it.  Again and again.  If you have problems with leaving out capitals, then i want you to write an entire essay with no capitals.  (make it a long essay, not an effortless paragraph or two.)  If you like capitals too much, THEN WRITE AN ENTIRE ESSAY IN CAPITALS.  Comma happy?  Then, put, a, comma, between, every, word.  Go ahead and split all your infinitives, end every sentence with a preposition, run your sentences on for pages, and use every contraction available.  Just make sure your writing is purely erroneous.  There shouldn’t be one thing done properly.

When you’ve practiced your mistake to the point where it’s perfect (you’ll know), then go through your paper and correct the mistakes.  They’ll stand out clearly.  Use a nice, acid-green pen or something, so it looks pretty.  Tape your masterpiece to the wall above your desk.  You’ll find that the three pages or so will be enough to train your brain to think differently, to see the errors differently.

Then, when your formal writing is perfect, you can take your imperfections and write for lolcats, or become the next e.e. cummings, because formal writing isn’t the only type of writing.

Gained in Translation

May 17th, 2010

So much of writing is very difficult to teach; there’s no formula, no one way to do things.  Language, after all, is dependent on both the speaker and the listener, and they may interpret a word a different way.

Found this page on smartwords.org.  If you scroll down, you’ll find the third section is entitled A Translation of Common Scientific Research Phrases.  (When two people are speaking the same language, translation is a bad thing.)  Weak writing frequently involves unnecessary words, or words that put the responsibility on someone other than the writer.  It makes the reader immediately suspicious, making it that much more difficult for the writer to convince the reader of a certain point of view.

These are labeled “research phrases” but they’re not found solely in scientific writing.  Here, thieved from the website, are some phrases I see students using in English papers:

Phrase Translation

It has long been known…           I didn’t look up the original reference.

In my experience…                    Once.

A definite trend is evident…     These data are practically meaningless.

Vagaries such as a long time ago are also subject to translation; a five-year-old believes yesterday to be “a long time ago” whereas those of us in middle age don’t think the late ’70s are all that distant.

We poke fun of advertising which attempts to use language to distract us from the truth (e.g a fast-food restaurant that claims to use only Grade A beef but says nothing about the grade of rat meat which gets mixed in with the beef).  Political leaders who dance around an issue, or try to avoid taking responsibility, are videotaped and put up on YouTube for the whole world to see.  You can imagine what a reader might think of phrases like careful analysis of obtainable data or it is believed that….

Have a look at the website, watch a couple of ads on television, and then listen to the evening news.  After that, make yourself a cup of tea and have a good long look at your writing.

Do you believe what you’ve written?

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